Comparing an Eclipse to a Colonoscopy

It's not about the shadow, it's about the light

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A child wearing sunglasses while the sun is eclipsed by the moon

Keep moving kid, nothing to see here — created in Midjourney

What is up with everyone’s fascination with this eclipse today? Is it a slow news week?

The sun is going to disappear in the middle of the day, for an hour. It happens every night, but it happening off-schedule once a generation merits non-stop coverage and commentary?

Is it the rarity of the event? I have a colonoscopy only once in 10 years, but I don’t invite my friends and family to watch that ring of fire.

Maybe it’s our love for an underdog story, the triumph of the wee little moon over the big powerful Sun? Really?

In nearby Niagara Falls, apparently the epicentre of the event, parking has gone from $10 to $100 in public lots. $50 hotel rooms are going for $1000 on a Monday night. The weather looks pretty cloudy. It’s going to be a disappointing afternoon for the lemmings in that line of traffic, heading from Buffalo and Toronto, to the centre of this twice in a lifetime shadow show.

I understand the primal fascination. In ancient times, monkeys, Neanderthals, and our own ancestors didn’t understand what was happening. Was the world ending? Was God punishing his children?

Kneel in awe. Cower in fear. Cry. Laugh. Climb onto a rock and proclaim to all that this is a message, a warning, a sign of our significance or insignificance.

This means something.

Grow up. It’s a giant ball blocking our view of another ball. It doesn’t mean anything. You can’t even admire it — like that blonde you just passed on the street, no staring please.

Get on with your day people. Like every other day, it’s a beautiful planet, filled with beautiful people and difficult problems that we have the intelligence to appreciate and solve if we could just pay attention to what’s really important.

What is important to you? Stare at that dark spot in the sky this afternoon, close your eyes, and think about your loved ones and the good parts of the life you have.

Think about how dark it is and how it’s going to get brighter again in a few minutes.

Think about whether there’s a larger lesson here.

  1. Another random rant about something that happened to me one day

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